Will Spurs EVER Beat United?

Robin was sometimes allowed to do the gears

Spurs haven’t beaten Manchester United since…oh wait, hang on. I’m reading last year’s notes. Zing-a-ding-ding. To be honest I’d given up putting any thought into previewing these fixtures a long time ago; some would argue that’s not necessarily exclusive to games involving United and, you know, perhaps they’re on to something.

How many times can one beat the MAYBE THIS TIME! drum before you break through the goatskin and do your hand a mischief. After years of disappointment after tragic, often hilarious disappointment, the sentiment had become a reflex; a defence mechanism. A cry for the hopeless.

I’m aware they dickbag us every year but maybe this time it’ll be different? Pa-thetic.

Anyway it’s all change since André Villas-Boas masterminded a barnstorming victory at Old Trafford in late-September. After a big dinner and several gin and tonics I could’ve cried the evening we finally toppled Sir Alex’s men. Getting dragged through the ringer as a Spurs fan is almost habitual, but this game more than most got the old soul stirring. Boy howdy. Vertonghen’s early goal: oh, god- we’ve scored too early. Bale gets the second: good, but I’ll still take a draw. They score: it’s all over. Dempsey scores immediately after: we’re only prolonging the inevitable. They score again: told you, all over. And, then *deep breath*

…the wait.

Pretty much forty minutes of bracing against a perpetual red tide: plugging holes with underpants, sellotaping the cracks with desperate enthusiasm: whatever it took to hold on. Heroic stuff. A famous victory.

Tomorrow’s game at the Lane is marred by the confirmation that Sandro will miss the rest of the season. Anyone but him, appears to be the general  mood on the internet superhighway since hearing the news. Bale’s a game-changer and Adebayor’s international duties by proxy make Defoe indispensible. But the Brazilian’s been our heartbeat for some time now and we shan’t function the same without him. As replacements go, however, Scotty Parker comes highly recommended. In fact, put your house* on him to score the winner.

He’d do that just to show you.


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26 Responses to Will Spurs EVER Beat United?

  1. avatar Anonymous says:

    Defore…indespensible….give me a break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. avatar onedavemackay says:

    Sturridge has already shown the difference a decent striker makes and Jelavic has done the same for Everton.
    If we had either of those we’d be nailed on for the CL this season

    • avatar Longwell says:

      Spoken like someone who has not watched Everton much this season. To call Jelavic’s recent form utter dogshit would be an insult to dogshit. He has 2 goals from his last 41 shots, 36 of which came in the box. That’s hard to wrap your head around, I know. But the only advantage to having him at Tottenham would be to remind people that Ade and JD aren’t as ruinously terrible as we think sometimes.

  3. avatar RhinoNeal says:

    Yes we haven’t got a great record against United but it’s not always down to the players. For some reason or other we have been the victims of some pretty poor refereeing decisions like goal that should have been awarded when the ball crossed the line by at least a yard and the free kick that was never given when Nani just put the ball in the net and that is just a couple that were just not right. We have had some awful decisions including penalty shouts that were also diabolical decisions. Old Trafford seems to be a place where officials just are not brave enough and I think the whole atmosphere there works it way down from bully boy Ferguson. It seems referee’s are just scared when they are officiating at the “Theatre of bad decisions”.

  4. avatar feenix says:

    I totally agree with Onedavemackay when it comes to Spurs lack of strikeforce. It is incredible to me that Spurs seem to look at every position except striker in the transfer windows. I don’t really understand why that is. It could be that Levy and AVB genuinely feel we don’t need anyone else or they feel we have enough talent in the youngsters to come through. Really though I feel the main reason is strikers cost a lot more money and we alll know how Levy is…he is a tight arse f___ker.

    • avatar Aran says:

      If by “tight arse fucker” you mean the best chairman in the Premier League who has spent money prudently, controlled the wage bill and allowed a team with a stadium far smaller than any other top side and no sugar-daddy to finance endless spending to accumulate a squad filled with exceptional talent and challenge for a place in the Champions League, then I heartily agree with you.

      Chances are they absolutely are looking for a striker but top quality strikers are expensive precisely because they are so rare. If the right player is found, if we can afford him and if he wants to join Spurs, then I am sure money will be made available, as it has been for midfielders, defenders, goalies and training facilities.

  5. avatar Spur-of-the-moment says:

    A good article; notwithstanding the apparent amnesia evident in its title. Tottenham have fewer strikers than a box of wet matches but it seems at times as though AVB is intent on trying to break the record for the most midfield players in one squad! Good strikers cost money, but what price do you put on participating in the Champions League? Yes, Sandro’s absence gives cause for concern but we don’t exactly have a shortage of midfield replacements do we? Now if (God forbid) Defoe gets carried off tomorrow clutching his knee who are we going to call on? Come to think of it, my five-year-old nephew’s an avid Spurs fan.

  6. avatar COYSRUS says:

    We have only done the double over them 4 times in my lifetime ’60,’63,’74 & 90. I will be there tomorrow to see a famous 5th time. Shame about Sandro but Bale, Lennon and Defoe are important tomorrow if we are to win. Most important though is Scotty in keeping Rooney bottled and Super Jan Vert to handcuff RVP. Surely we aloud abit of cheating for all of those crap ref decisions over the years and Mr C Foy for the poor Stoke A match last season. Come on Chris you will make history if we do the double with a dubios last minute penalty for us. Be interesting WHO the extra striker on the bench will be ?? Will tell you everything about any youngsters AVB may see as nearly ready. He may play Siggy though in a 5 man midfield and have Dempsey up his sleeve. Play on the break with Bale/Lennon the outlet.

  7. avatar hammerztillifly says:

    pff spuds ….

    oop I drop me chips …..

    WesthamWestham …. oop I drop me chips

  8. avatar Lee turner says:

    Clint Dempsey anyone?

  9. avatar My Heart Is White says:

    I’ve got a feeling they’re thinking of gently introducing Coulibaly into the first team next season, maybe they don’t want to spend a load of cash on a striker when we already have a youngster who may well do good in the PL, you never know. They might be thinking of trying to save as much cash as possible while the stadium project is on going?

  10. avatar seattlespursguy says:

    Lloris, Walker, Caulker, Dawson, Naughton, Parker, Dembele, Lennon, Bale, Dempsey & Defoe

    Subs: Friedel, Vertonghen, Assou-Ekotto, Huddlestone, Sigurdsson, Livermore & Townsend

    Vert on the bench? Oh boy.

  11. avatar Aran says:

    Dempsey to the rescue!

    Lennon was fantastic today. And Dawson. Amazing team performance and a deserved point against the best side in the league. Not bad, not bad at all.

  12. avatar Longwell says:

    AVB’s halftime team talk:

    “See the little fella wearing our number seven shirt standing over there looking bored, with nothing between him and the goal besides a fullback and a midfielder who’ve both been booked? He’s quite good. How ’bout we GIVE HIM THE FUCKING BALL instead of watching Gareth dribble sideways in front of his personal three-man defensive detachment, YOU GOD DAMN PILLOCKS!!!!”

    (That fourth exclamation point is for Aran.)

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