‘To Me it Looked Like He Didn’t Want to be There…’

Karl Pilkington once claimed that his eyes were capable of autonomous thought; regardless of his own wishes, he reckoned his peepers would somehow shut themselves if confronted with anything gruesome or particularly boring. If ever there was an occasion where a mental idea could have a legitimate practical use- ignoring all the so-called biology and whatnot- Tottenham’s visit to Stevenage at the weekend was that occasion.

I’d imagine most Spurs fans in residence would’ve been delighted if their eyes had not only closed of their own volition on Sunday, but detached at the optic nerve, rolled down the Stevenage high street and found a nice puddle to drown in.

Eyes have lungs, right?

The encouraging news is that we’re still in the Hat and should we inch past Boro in the replay, a favourable home draw with Bolton awaits us in the quarters. Nothing bad can come of this. Trust me, I’m a scientist.

Soggy-faced porn merchant, David Sullivan, has made some curious noises this week, regarding Scott Parker’s last days at the Boleyn Ground. I wouldn’t usually waste time with this sort of guff, but it does strike me as bad form to deride a player who essentially carried West Ham last season. Sure, where he carried them was straight into the Championship, but he did play jolly well whilst he was at it. Here’s what uncle David said:

“This might not please many people but look at Scott Parker’s performance in the first five games this season,” Sullivan told the ‘West Ham til I die’ website.

“To me it didn’t look like he was doing the tackling you’d normally expect him to do.

“He was running about, he was doing okay but he wasn’t doing the tackling we know he can do because he knew that the one thing that would stop a move, would be an injury.

“To me it looked like he didn’t want to be there. He told us he didn’t want to be there.

“He was protecting himself, either consciously or subconsciously. He’s gone to Spurs and he is back to his old self.”

 Well, I suppose you can’t spell bitter without t-i-t.



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