Talk of United, Disco Benny’s Left Foot and ‘Desperate Spurs Fans’

Good evening and greetings from the ice bunker. If you’re suffering from an acute case of frostbite of the derriére, why not let the latest guff and tommyrot from WFRF headquarters pump some much needed warmth into your breeches.

First up, a word or two on the United game. A draw is a result most would’ve taken before kick-off; indeed, Rio Ferdinand admitted that it was a scoreline the Manchester club themselves would’ve settled on. But a cursory glance at the lop-sided stats would suggest it’s the least we deserved.

Far from it being just a tale of skewed numbers, either; Spurs were the cannier beast going forward for much of the afternoon and had the absurd reflexes of half-goalkeeper-half-alpaca been a little less sharp, the eleventh-hour equalizer mightn’t have been so desperately welcome.

Of course Rooney was hoodwinked out of a penalty but it’s not like we don’t know how that goes. Geewizz.

Good to see Scotty Parker back in the fold. He looked rustier than an old toolbox at times but for his first start in ages he did remarkably well. A tireless shift punctuated by one ore two bone-shuddering challenges and a well-honed fondness of running the ball in a perfectly straight line. Business as usual. Welcome home, old boy.

Tip o’ the cap to Villas-Boas’, too, for a tactical jigger which saw BAE on for young Kyle Anti-Virus; giving us much more balance on the left. With little room for manoeuvre in the way of offensive options, it was nice to imagine a manager capable of thinking outside the box rather than just sit there under a blanker and wait for the answer to reveal itself. And it was Disco Benny’s cross which finally caused De Gea to drop a pudding for the leveller.

Quotes on a Scandal

“He’s not a real left-back and I don’t think he has the same left foot as me, so I’m not worried about that,”

“I’m not worried because obviously I can do stuff with my left foot that he can’t do”

Everyone’s favourite African funster, Benoit Assou-Ekotto, on his rivalry with Kyle Naughton. LOLZ. He says what we’re all thinking!

“They’ve got a great fan base, but this over-celebration of anything Andre Villas-Boas does smacks of desperation from a set of supporters who need something to cling on to.”

TalkSport’s Adrian Durham. Ballbag of the highest order.

“There is a request from Tottenham. The offer is not acceptable.

But the transfer window is still open. Lewis has not become cheaper today.”

Schalke’s general manager, Horst Heldt, obviously new to the concept of ‘Levymanship’

“It’s a difficult situation but that doesn’t mean that we won’t do anything in the transfer market. We are also aware of the risk that it entails though, so we’ll just have to be careful”

André on the prospect of recruiting another striker.

No mention of Gary Hooper but I’m sure it’s implied.


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10 Responses to Talk of United, Disco Benny’s Left Foot and ‘Desperate Spurs Fans’

  1. avatar MalSpur says:

    How many times have we been the better team against manu and came away with nought? There definately is a new resolve about the mighty lilywhites of late, I really don’t think AVB gets the credit he deserves for that. COYS

  2. avatar Spurstough says:

    Ahh yes Adrian Durham, he hates AVB you know but then again he hates football and has absolutely no empathy with football fans he is a husk of a human being!

  3. avatar seattlespursguy says:

    Rumour is Levy offered a million Euro for Holtby. This was rejected. Expect Schalke to agree toward the end of the window. Further expect Levy to say the offer is now 500k. Levy 101.

    • avatar Longwell says:

      Indeed. Horst Hedlt also apparently new to the concept of ‘leverage’.

      He should ring up Harry Redknapp and ask how that whole “turn down the bird in the hand in hopes of snaring the two in the bush” strategy tends to work out when negotiating with Dear Daniel.

      • avatar who framed ruel fox? says:

        I heard the initial offer was £840,000. Textbook Levy low-balling.

        Let’s hope his antics don’t upset our new friends.

        • avatar Longwell says:

          I don’t know if it’s low-balling so much as an unflinching acknowledgement that Schalke is over a barrel on this one. Either they take what Levy’s willing to offer in the next week or so, or Holtby comes in the summer and they get nothing and like it.

          The question is how much is fourth months’ of Holtby’s services worth to Schalke? Levy’s made it pretty clear what he thinks that’s worth to Tottenham.

  4. avatar that'll do it says:

    There are times reading your work that I feel like I’m in a 1940s RAF canteen. Splendid stuff again old boy, thoroughly entertaining.
    This AVB fella grows on me by the day. Players have improved more in 6 months than they did in 6 years previously (Lennon a perfect example, Defoe too). The comments from the camp are so positive, the manager is obviously fair and popular. His tactical nous is there for all to see, and he doesn’t appear to have any of that selfish agenda malarky shown by some managers. Just wants to do his job to the best of his ability. And given his age, methinks that ability will only increase with time.
    Four points from Man Utd this year, could have been six if that “half-keeper-half -alpaca” (funniest description in ages) hadn’t been a bit lucky with where his feet were at times. When did that last happen? Possibly in a 1940s RAF canteen…

  5. avatar Cheshuntboy says:

    Yes – at the moment AVB seems to be getting it right, and if the good run carries on to Champions League qualification (and maybe a cup, or two) I’ll be as pleased as anyone. But Mr Durham has a point; some supporters are so OTT in their praise of AVB, that people like me, old enough to remember the good starts made by Shreeves, Pleat, Francis, Hoddle – even Ramos! – before it all fell apart, just think a little less adulation might be more appropriate until something has actually been won – ‘Mind the Gap’ will take some living-down!

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