Sickbags at The Ready


Blimey. It’s gone all biblical.

 Plague and pestilence hits North London. The Lodge has been closed down, cordoned off and presumably slapped with a big red cross to ward off pedestrians who may’ve inadvertently strayed into the epicentre. What next, frogs raining from the heavens?

 Okay, so it’s probably not quite as dramatic as all that. Call it artistic licence.

 The extent of the damage is uncertain; but damage there almost certainly is. Palacios and Corluka appear to be among the worst hit- both spending far too much time emptying various orifices by the sounds of it. Nasty business, that. The two look to be in some doubt for the weekend’s vital, potentially sticky, tie with Everton. (Yeah, a toffee/sticky pun. I went there.) Whether the bug’s merciless hand extends any further, or, indeed, becomes anymore severe is difficult to guess. It may well have already. If it’s gone all epidemic on us then you’d imagine Harry would be doing his best to downplay the body count as much as his twitchy poker face will allow. Sunday lunchtime. We’ll find out.

 So, wading through soiled bed sheets and stratospheric temperatures, we look forward. It may be a bit hazy, but we must endeavour to do so. Everton at home. In the scheme of things, a mammoth game. Team selection will no doubt be reliant on whoever turns up; be it first-teamers or anyone with a pair of boots and can-do attitude. Either will be most welcome. All eyes on the Pavlyuchenko/Redknapp soap opera. While the plot thickens like a good gravy, you just can’t take your eyes off it. Hints and murmurs suggest- vomit permitting- Pav will start on Sunday. An opportunity for the Russian to make good on the faith we’ve all invested in him. Just keep scoring and we’ll keep investing.

 David Moyes’ lot are on a charge at the moment. Opal Fruit League dumping aside, Everton have been going like the clappers; pumping wind in the sails at the most critical time. Chelsea and United are among the most recent scalps- neither would argue that they were victims of burglary. The Toffees outplayed them both. Sticky customers are…sorry…I’ll stop now.

 Three points is what we’re after, then. But under the circumstances, a draw wouldn’t be terminal. Actually, scrap that. I’ve become fluent in loser talk. Virus or no virus. We need a win.

 No excuses.

Have a prosperous and sickness-free weekend.


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22 Responses to Sickbags at The Ready

  1. The Covert Buttock mystery’s been revealed.

    Panic over. A case of mistaken identity and jumping the proverbial gun on my part.

    It was rather a stern e-mail I sent, too.

    Boy do I feel sheepish. 🙁

  2. avatar who framed ruel fox? says:

    Yes. Very much so.

  3. avatar Spiritual Advisor says:

    this game could be an absolute cracker, really looking forward to it. This could be a fairly high scoring match on both sides, both teams are in form. I predict 3-4 scoreline, with Spurs just scraping it through.

  4. A beating for Everton is well merited. I’m tired of limited, pastoral teams getting results off us with nothing more than graft and character!

  5. avatar JimmyG2 says:

    ‘First eleven out of the cubicles , changed and ready, play today lads.
    Sandra’s on the bench.
    I’ve sent Palacios and Corluka and the Academy lads to tidy up the away changing rooms.
    Its all under control. Triffic’

  6. avatar davspurs says:

    The word coming out of the cockerels pen is the lads have swamp fever from the DW swamp What is wrong with our club we need to start thinking positive thoughts because the more we play well we the more worried we become this is all down to a season of shocks. How we cant go on a run like Birmingham Everton Fulham is another shocking state the truth is in Evertons game last night and the display by Everton did more to prove my point than all the evidence i have told my fellow Spurs fans .There is some managers who bully there players from the touch line and Moyes is one of them Coyles is another and Fergie . This can make some players use illegal methods to improve there performances and has bean going on for a long time i am not worried about that the big thing what makes me dread playing these teams is energy levels rise dramatically increased when teams play Spurs and the big reason is the quality of our squad .. I could tell you what teams will win and witch teams will make us struggle and that is why i cant watch second half of games and in some cases after 10 to 15 mins this is because of whole teams using energy . This means teams can stop teams from playing for not just 60 or 70 mins but the whole match and beyond and detected can lead to some head scratching results ,the way to spot these teams is even when there best players are missing they don’t drop there form and the only thing upsets that form is another team using the same energy or two games in a week or a heavy schedule .The reason for this is the dangers of weight loss that can give back trouble blood trouble viruses and strokes and sadly death.Everton looked slow and like there early form in the prem We need to stop ignoring these sudden rise and dips in form we have played teams weakened yet outplayed the one of the best Squads in the prem the drug faliere in rugby league has opened a can of worms and proves the new drug tests introduced in Rugby work but Football is struggling to get it going and only ten stars will be tested instead of thirty lets see if blood tests stop this ephedrine and Benzoylecgonine cheats and we need to no why the FA dont name cheats on the UKAD SITE except Paddy Kenny are they from the prem the protected golden egg.

  7. avatar kojac says:

    nappies all round for the lads on sunday,

    i hope some are left fit,bloomin typical

    it’s a nasty bug that both ender

  8. avatar Trembly says:

    No Fellaini and Tim Cahil. Well alright then.

  9. avatar Day of the Triffics pt.2 says:

    Good luck to the Villa hope you enjoy what was formerly our day out, all the pubs round my way that support the scums (arse/ chavs) have all been adorned with Villains bunting. Send the Mancs packing and empty handed, they all only live around the corner anyway.

  10. avatar Day of the Triffics pt.2 says:

    On my way to the Lane of Dreams COYS, WE ARE THE BOYS FROM THE NORTH STAND

  11. avatar KayBee says:

    Great result yesterday.

    Can’t say I particularly like Everton’s overly physical style, but we have to get used to such performances and learn how to play against them.

    Still, it was a must-win game and we did what we needed to do. Just. Didn’t half make it difficult on ourselves second half, though. We dropped far too deep and our threat level diminished in a big way.

    The media are banging on about Donovan’s miss, but I thought Defoe’s was every bit as glaring.

    Regarding the first half, that was as good a half of football as you’ll see all season. The Modric goal will have to go down as one of the best team goals all season, with the Croat connection working in the most beautiful fashion possible.

  12. avatar KayBee says:

    Forgot to add:

    Sarge is on eight or nine cards, Hudd is injured, Jenas is, well, Jenas, and I can’t say the Kaboul option is one I like.

    We need O’Hara and Livermore, quick-sharp!

    For the time being, I’d shuffle the deck a little, bringing Benny back to LB, move Baler to LW, and move Luka alongside Sarge in a central position. Luka might be lightweight, but I don’t think Hudd is any better defensively than he is.

  13. avatar JimmyG2 says:

    According to FA Premiership site Wilson is on 8 yellows.
    Need to manage his inevtably two match suspension carefully or tie his legs together.

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