No Relegation For Us This Year


And we avoided it in record time. Forty points and beyond.

It must be the years of watching a team with hazardous levels of inconsistency, but in the face of knocking up the required tally to keep us in the division for another year, I find myself being quietly grateful. Humble ambitions, indeed, particularly in a season which offers so much. It’s the same damaged part of me that isn’t entirely convinced of a win at two-nil with three long minutes on the clock. The 2008 League Cup semi, at 4-1, those in the vicinity were baffled that I could possibly see any way back for Arsenal. ‘This is Tottenham,’ I suggested. ‘I wouldn’t bet against it.’ At 5-1, I felt we were just about home and dry. Just about.

What has this club done to me?

Safe or not, Spurs were excellent last night. Not excellent in a way which makes one coo in wonder, but in the sense that we got the job done with minimal fuss. ‘Workmanlike’ it was described as on here yesterday, a word which nicely encapsulates the evening. It was a hard hat, tape-measure, builder’s tea kind of affair. Get in early, stick up a dry wall, take the money and vamoose with some half-inched cutlery stuffed in your overalls. As we ought to- but often haven’t on occasion- we took advantage of a team rife with injuries, at the wrong end of the form guide and took the points with no apologies. It’s the kind of ruthlessness we failed to offer against both halves of Merseyside.

Honorary mentions. Gareth Bale. Halleluiah. Fetch a dusty bottle from the cellar, our man has broken his longstanding duck. Finally, the young Welshman started a League game for us and finished on the winning side. The monkey, whose balls I can only assume have swollen to the size of grapefruits, has limped off his back. Not only that, he played well. Really well. Tearing forward with purpose and intelligence; when required, defending soundly. One would hope, with this ridiculous hoodoo broken, we’ll see plenty more of Gareth. Psychologically, the only way is up.

David Bentley. Looking remarkably like that twot from Basshunter, David generally put in a decent shift. A cagey opening half- littered with many backward passes and scrawny first time crosses- was followed by one of industry, enterprise and a criminally fortuitous goal. He looked at ease alongside Corluka; certainly not giving the impression of a man in footballing dire straights. Rumour that he’s off to West Ham would, however, suggest otherwise.

Dawson. Awesome. I’d like to consult the chaps down at Opta Index and find out how many headers Michael’s won over the course of this season. My count would be thirty-eight thousand. The man wins everything in the air. If he doesn’t it’s because someone slipped lead into his socks. Deserving of a new contract? So it shall be done.

That’s me then. Plenty of other talking points which I shall leave to the words of better men (and women, of course). Three more well-earned points which will see us in this little old League for another season. And who knows, with Liverpool’s comparative raspberry last night, we might even do a little bit better than that.

Some Gudjohnsen news to follow.

Until then,

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24 Responses to No Relegation For Us This Year

  1. Are Bentley’s only Spurs’ goals last night and THAT goal against the scum? They’re the only two I recall anyway. If so, has there ever been a player for us who’s only goals had such an element of “you lucky bastard” sprinkled on them?

  2. avatar hoopspur says:

    Love Dawson. He did have the last 5 minute lapses again though! I think he had a bet on Fulham scoring. If we could only play him for 85 minutes and then take him off….

  3. avatar JTyido says:

    That first paragraph summed up my feelings not only during last nights game (esp the added time) but for most of my 26 years supporting this team. Nice to see I’m not the only one who suffers! 🙂

  4. avatar David B says:

    Love it!! I only felt safe against Wigan when we scored the 8th!!

  5. avatar Foggy says:

    Modric and Bale worked well together,it’s going to be difficult for BAE to get back in the side,I have to admit though I prefer Bales game.

  6. The Gudjohnsen rumors are picking up steam. Have you heard anything, Fox?

    • avatar Who framed ruel fox? says:

      Nothing more than what’s been doing doing the rounds, old bean. I’m not sure if my excitement stems from the signing itself or the fact that we look to have swiped him under the noses of the pikeys. If I do hear anything, rest assured it’ll be at least a week after you have.

      • avatar SeattleSpursGuy says:

        Looks like it’s happening:

        “We’ve been talking about him for nearly two weeks and when we heard West Ham were interested we made our move,” Redknapp was quoted by the Sun as saying. “We are not paying a penny more than West Ham were offering him. Two identical deals were on the table. In the end it was a straight choice for Eidur.”

  7. avatar whitehartpain says:

    Bentley also scored a nice curler against doncaster in the carling cup this year, and a goal in the uefa cup last season

  8. Been a while since I’ve visited this humble abode, but I’m back now Foxy!!!!

    I was really happy to see Bentley on the pitch. Everyone deserves a chance on this squad, and I was beginning to get annoyed with Redknapp’s substitution tactics (i.e. Keane, Jenas and that’s it!).

    Bale has been impressive so far, and I hope he can keep building on these strengths while he has the chance.

    Loving this new site… OLE OLE WHAT?


  9. avatar KayBee says:

    Well, a case of Gudie Gudie Gumdrops, then, huh?

  10. avatar David Sullivan says:


    Those nasty Tottenham lot have pinched our striker!

    And there I was thinking that because the player had had a medical with us, we practically owned him already, despite terms not being agreed and any money changing hands.

    This is soooooo unfair, and makes me want to lock myself in a cupboard, listening to Enya, read back issues of the Sport…

    …and wanking.

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