Keane’s New Boyhood Dream


Just a quick one, folks. I come to you from the confines of a ramshackle old Nissan stationed in a council office car-park. I pay my taxes, so I’m helping myself to a perilously unprotected bit of internet juice. I feel like Jeff Goldblum in Independence Day; hacking into the White House’s mainframe with a bizarre looking space-age dongle. It’s just like the movies, I tell thee…

Just remember the signal if you see any law-types.

To the papers.

The Mirror’s vaguely titled ‘Football Spy’ speaks word of development in the Simon Kjaer saga- if you can call a story I’ve just heard of a saga. ‘Arry, it is said, is closing in on the Palmero defender with what can only be assumed ‘some intent.’ Eleven million is the quoted price, with a dubious 100k-per-week (!) requested from the agent’s player’s end. Questionable, perhaps- particularly as it would make the twenty year old our highest earner by some stretch- but you surely can’t argue with a paper that stamps ‘Deal’ in big yellow letters over the headline, can you? Rest assured, if the Football Spy’s on it, you may as well take your shirts to the printers. Just make sure you get the spelling right. You wouldn’t want to look like an idiort.

Elsewhere, The Times have suitably put the idea of Robbie Keane going to West Ham in their ‘long shots’ pile. It sits there along side Eusebio to Fulham and Jedward for a buy-one-get-one free knighthood. Suffice as to say I don’t envisage it happening anytime soon. Then again, stranger things have happened. Maybe Spam was his boyhood club all along.

Right, I better move this hunk of metal. I’m certain I saw the rustling of net curtains.

Feel free to submit your bull-faeces ratings of these yarns in the space below.

Have a lovely day.

About the Author


43 Responses to Keane’s New Boyhood Dream

  1. PS. My keen-minded associate has posted a note about Avatars on the right hand coloumn. I haven’t tried it out yet, but he’s awfully clever so I imagine it’ll work just fine.

  2. avatar SeattleSpursGuy says:

    lets see if that works

  3. Bingo regarding the working of the avatar.

  4. avatar SeattleSpursGuy says:
  5. avatar andyto65 says:

    I was getting used to Snowy.

  6. avatar TheOverlord says:

    Nice avatars homies!

  7. avatar Spiritual Advisor says:

    hmm avatar test time for the techno-numptie !

  8. It looks like Harry is saying Ruud isn’t coming. Some drivel about him wanting 100k a week. I wouldn’t mind RVN at the Lane, but that is a pretty fat wedge for 33y/o injury case. I’m starting to wonder if we will make moves at all, but then I remember who we are and who our manager is.


    • avatar andyto65 says:

      Makes no sense to me,
      What a combination, Tottenham Hotspur world renown for it’s if in doubt buy attitude and Harry who has gone through more young men than Jordan.

      We should be waist deep in new players…….

  9. avatar Spiritual Advisor says:

    Happy not to have Ruud at that cost. Have there been any other rumours of late ?

  10. avatar Day of the Triffics pt.2 says:

    Have we all recovered enough from the Liverpool fiasco, i fear Howrd Webb will again raise his bare cranium before our season ends to make yet another telling desicion, not in our favour- This is way of topic but had to share some of these sentimnts with my fello football lovers:
    From a QPR fan
    “I take more pleasure in seeing Chelsea lose than I do in seeing QPR win
    at the moment.
    I sat through so many matches when we were absolute dog**** under the
    likes of Ray Harford and with people like Paul Bruce, Matthew Brazier
    and Mark Perry in the squad and I never felt like this.

    The club isn’t ours anymore but moreso than that – football is just
    properly gash these days.
    I mean really gash.
    football generally.
    I hate nearly everything about it these days….
    I hate the Prem and the myth that it is exciting this year. Man City
    breaking into the top four isn’t exciting. They spent loads of money.
    It’s no more exciting that Nameless **** getting to number 1 in the
    charts after winning the X-Factor.

    I hate the myth of Arsene’s kids. Buying some French kid when he’s 17,
    playing him in the League Cup and then selling him when he’s 20 after
    about 3 appearances in the league is NOTHING SPECIAL.

    I hate hearing about Liverpool/Man Utd’s debt but nothing ever happening
    about it. A club needs to go to the wall for the money thing to change
    but it doesn’t happen. Why the **** are Charlton, Leeds and Southampton
    still in business?

    I hate Frank Lampard’s stupid ****ing face. I hate that Joe Cole’s
    tongue is never in his mouth, the downsy spacker. I hate John Terry
    being England captain when he’s CLEARLY AN OAF.

    I hate young exciting wingers who have nothing but pace. Tony Scully had
    nothing but pace.

    I hate Harry ****ing Redknapp. And Jamie Redknapp. And Louise Redknapp..
    And the Wii.

    I hate Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer.

    I hate Garth Crooks.

    I hate Garth Brooks a lot for that matter.

    I hate Sky Sports.

    I hate that when a lower league player beats 10 players and chips the
    keeper it doesn’t matter but if Rooney scores from more than 20 yards
    it’s amazing.

    I hate that female sports journos are now mandatory.

    I hate Mark Lawrenson for not coming out. ‘I do like a big man at the
    back’. I bet you do.

    I hate any advert that portrays football to be about anything other than
    pain and disappointment.

    I hate Lee Hughes and the fact that he makes a living from the game. I
    hate Marlon King and any team that signs him when he gets out. I hate
    that it’ll probably be us.

    I hate Phil Brown.

    I hate ‘well the ball is a lot lighter now and will cause goalkeepers
    real problems this summer’ before EVERY ****ING TOURNAMENT!

    I hate that Kieron Dyer earned more in the time I took to write this
    post than I’ll earn this month.

    I hate Adrian Durham, Ian Wright and Alan Brazil.

    I hate Gazza. Either die or shut up. Stop ****ing lingering.

    I hate hearing about Hillsborough more than I hear about Heysel or

    I hate Leeds.

    I hate Roy Keane.

    I hate grown men wearing football shirts of their team whilst shopping
    on a Saturday when their team is playing at home.

    I hate that I don’t hate Roy Hodgson.

    I hate Jermaine Beckford and any player who has neck tattoos.

    I hate songs being inappropriately taken as club anthems and then sung
    in a manly way. ‘I’m forever blowing bubbles….’ Gaylords.

    I hate Danny Dyer and anyone he’s ever interviewed.

    I hate the book ‘Cass’ by Cass Pennant. It is honestly the stupidest
    thing I’ve ever read. Chapter 1: Millwall. ‘Yeah we took 50 to Millwall.
    They had 1000 in their mob but we ran ’em up and down the street’.
    Chapter 2: Liverpool. ‘Yeah we took 50 to Liverpool. They had 2000 in
    their mob but we ran ’em up and down the street’. **** me… Jade
    Goody’s autobiography is probably better. Even her non-ghost written

    I hate that all good youngsters end their careers at Spurs before they


  11. avatar Day of the Triffics pt.2 says:

    Right i’m off to see the Wizard the wonderful of Spurs. Read you all after the match, the traffic down the High Road will be anightmare beware of the road works. And here is another ingloriously stolen from the GG boards:
    ‘Jenas is the scarecrow, tin man and the cowardly lion all rolled into one’

  12. avatar baxter stockholm says:
  13. avatar Spiritual Advisor says:

    I echo that thought, now to find a bar in NYC that’s showing it !

  14. avatar Trembly says:

    wfrf. reply is a bit confusing since it adds it on the message you reply to even if its further towards the top of the post. just my tuppence. or am i doing it all wrong?

    • avatar who framed ruel fox? says:

      No. You’re right, mate. It is confusing. It puts the reply below the orignal message rather than as the latest post. I can’t seem to find a way of changing it.

      I must consult the Overlord and see if he has any ideas.

  15. avatar SeattleSpursGuy says:

    Would like to see Pav and DB get a game. We may have to keep them, given how the window is going, so we might as well try to get some value for the money. Playing or selling them is the only to do that.

  16. avatar kojac says:

    hi wfrf,

    nice new site,i haven’t looked around in a while,congrats,hope it goes down well

    nearly leeds time,should be a win for me,COYS

  17. avatar kojac says:

    still can’t embedd videos and pics or have sigs and other toys though

    can you?maybe you can anyway i’m sure most don’t care

  18. So, Pav comes on late, gets into good spots and slots in a nice goal within a couple minutes of arriving.

    Harry reluctantly compliments Pav, but basically calls him a lazy waster.

    Pav states his hope that scoring a goal won’t hurt his chances of moving on.

    I was really hoping for Pav to find a way back but that seems unlikely. It’s too bad that Harry and Pav couldn’t find some common ground.

  19. And Pav now has the affliction known as “Spurs Groin” (see Messers Lennon and Woodgate for other examples)

  20. avatar who framed ruel fox? says:

    Evening. I’ve been away all weekend.


    Shall be back tommorow with a hopelessly tardy bout of ‘catch up.’


  21. Furious bloodletting and knee jerking over our impending doom. It seems we allowed Leeds to draw with us, which is certain proof that we are rubbish, no-heart, bottle merchants.

    You know; the usual.

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