Kane – From Ballon d’Or to Ballon d’Oh!

dohIn the same week in which you’re longlisted for the Ballon d’Or, what better way to parachute yourself back to terra firma than by thumping one past your own goalkeeper in a suspenseful afternoon on the Welsh coast.

Harry Kane, forever a citizen of the people, probably felt he’d lost touch with his fellow man, what with his exploits in the last twelve months. Jolly decent of him to confirm that he’s still just a regular mouth-breathing biped like the rest of us.

We all knew the rumour about him selling his soul to the devil in exchange for unlimited, herculean superpowers was just water-cooler gossip, but, sometimes, it’s good to be reminded.

Messi, Ronaldo…Massimo Luongo

Mundo Deportivo broke the news of the Ballon d’Or candidates in the early part of last week. The Spanish newspaper claimed to be in possession of a leaked document which named the 59 players bumping heads for the most coveted individual prize in the soccerball universe. A veritable who’s who and, often, who-the-heck of the sport.

In what might turn out to be part of some heartless hidden camera show, former Spurs midfielder Massimo Luongo also made the cut. A fact which, if nothing else, gave men of a certain age around the country a brief moment of hope while they checked for their own name. David Ospina and Christian Atsu were also part of the final 59, presumably just ahead of Darren from Accounts and that nippy lad in your Tuesday night 5-a-side team.

Elsewhere Heung-Min Son’s name was included, as Spurs’ only other representative. As luminous as his whole five games for Tottenham have been, however, you’d concede that the majority of this recognition would be for his time at Bayer Leverkusen.

Meanwhile Back in South Wales…

Two marvellously executed free-kicks by Christian Erkisen were enough for a point at the Liberty Stadium on Sunday, as Spurs twice came from behind to draw two-each with Swansea. If the first setpiece was an exhibition of Łukasz Fabiański’s muddled footwork, which somehow enabled him to be beaten in the centre of the goal, the second was one of the Dane’s dead-eyed knack of hitting the top corner with force. For number’s fans, that’s the sixth direct free-kick in the Premier League for Eriksen now. There’s no-one more effective from that range.


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