Gooners Garotted


Dear diary. We’ve not spoken in a while but I come to you with wonderful and exciting news. Arsenal- the vagrants from across town; possessor of the Wingnut, keeper of the turncoat- have been plundered. Do not waste time confirming the details; they count for nothing but the pair of digits which will be revealed in due course… Oh alright, it was 2-1. Two goals to their measly offering of one. Uno. Eins. Un. Spread the word, as quickly as you dare. I fear my nail bitten digits might not last the night.

F*cking nora. What a game. If we were looking for an antidote for Sunday’s painful misfire into the foot, then a victory against the Gooners was just the ticket. There’s hint of Red Stripe still surging through the bloodstream this morning, and keys are a little dizzy to the touch, but a successful North London Derby is enough to make even the groggiest first light a veritable shower of rainbows and sprightly steps. Hangover Shmangover. It was worth it.

A time for heroes? We’ve got ‘em by the skip load. Gomes may as well been wearing a cat-suit, such was the vivacity of his reflexes. A coiled spring, snapping like a mouse trap at the slightest hint of danger. Implausible. You could count the number of saves he made on his right hand, were he not using said hand to deflect yet another Arsenal effort skyward. Robin Van Go Home.

Danny Rose. Holy Moly. The entire build-up was fixed exclusively on the moisture build up behind his ears. He’s not played a game, Andy. Is he ready? Ready like warm Spaghetti. If it were possible to top Bentley’s thunder-crack from last semester, then Rose has done so with an almighty swing of the left bat. Retire now, son, you’re already etched into Tottenham folklore. Ruel Fox, he aint.

Too much to mention. Bale scores, Campbell’s still a fanny, Dawson’s going to the World Cup. Wenger sees everything.

Spurs beat Arsenal. I’m going for a lie down.

More later.


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76 Responses to Gooners Garotted

  1. avatar Tak says:

    Gooner here, well deserved on your part, we played a team that definitely looked like they were chasing their goals, and it didn’t look we were bothered about the out-come last night. You deserved to end that run, and now the pressure is off us, we can take a huge sigh of relief and prepare to open a can of whup ass on sp*rs next season!

  2. avatar Halfbakery says:

    I can’t stop smiling, what a beautiful, beautiful night. If ever Spurs fans needed a win, it was last night. Another whimpering loss may have seen the wheels fall right off our season. it’s definitely lifted me out of my gloom!

    The best thing about it was that, even though they had a lot of the ball, we looked the more dangerous. Gudjohnsen, Modric both with decent chances to stretch it further. It was never going to be easy, it’s Spurs, so a tight finish was to be expected….but we controlled the ball and kept it in their half – clear thinking, excellent play. Modric had a cracker, great work rate and clever on the ball. Huddlestone chased about, pressuring their midfield into mistakes. Ledley was imperious, Dawson a rock. Kaboul and Assou were solid, just what was needed. Up front, they hassled and harried, a great team effort. Bale, Gomes, and Danny Rose…..heroes.

    I would say a very different team will line up against Chelsea, such a youthful and lightweight team may struggle against that bunch…but that lot last night, did us so so proud.

    FIRST TIME IN TEN YEARS!!! The sun’s out today as well 😀

  3. avatar Trembly says:

    We should’ve had another goal…we didn’t need it, but the way we were playing, you couldn;t have begrudged us for taking another. Their one was offside in the build up – matters not.

    We have an actual fotball playing, tactically adept team. We were sharper than they were with barely anytime to rest after extra time at Wembley, whilst they had over a week to rest, recuperate and train for a game they were looking forward to eh Walnut, eh Almoonyer?

    Listening to talksport this morning, there are still some deluded gon (unts out there who think we were lucky. it matters not. A phenomenal performance from the lilywhite. Simply phenomenal.

  4. avatar Tak says:

    However, I don’t see last night’s result as a ticket to say that you’re better than us with a little belief. It don’t work like that!

    • avatar Trembly says:

      Even Whinger admitted we were the better team last night, even with all our injuries/suspensions.

      We’re not going to be able to regularly say that Spurs is a better team, until we continue winning trophies and contesting the title on a regular basis. Howevr, I don’t see last night’s result as a ticket to say that we’re not catching up.

      • avatar Tak says:

        Oh ofcourse, I don’t think anyone doubted that you were the better team last night. I think your closer to us than you have previously been but I don’t think you’ll majorly scare us in the coming years…

        • avatar Longwell says:

          Spurs could use a bit more pace throughout the side, really. I feel that’s our biggest weakness at the moment. We have plenty of quality but–outside of Bale and Lennon–lack the consistent ability to break quickly. This is why we sometimes struggle against shite teams who defend deep; bags of creativity and skill, but it can be fucking ponderous.

  5. avatar Longwell says:

    I received your summons, Foxy. Site’s being overrun by Americans, you said? Well, I’m here to help…


  6. avatar Ozza says:

    Fantastic game. As a Spurs fan that was brilliant. Such a commited performance, but I have to say Van Persie’s ten minutes was frighting. The lift he gave to Arsenal was incredible considering the dominance we showed and his lack of football. A fair result and a cracking game.

  7. avatar ThankGodforarri says:

    Not a mention for the tactician anywhere- God bless you Harry!

    Thats TWO top four scalps @ WHL this year BUT last night was oh so very special! Please God One more next Saturday and I will have died and gone to heaven.

    • avatar ThankGodforarri says:

      Taken from zonalmarking

      The focus on Arsenal here should not take away anything from the brilliant way Harry Redknapp set up his side, but essentially there’s not a great deal to say about Spurs – they did the basics well, and when it comes to defending, that’s often the key to a positive result. Redknapp had to shoulder the blame when Spurs lost the reverse fixture 0-3 in November, but he deserves immense credit here.

  8. avatar JamieSpurs says:


    Way too many heroes to single anyone out. Repeat this performance against Chelsea on Saturday and we can start to dream of the Champs League.

    As for Arsenal………..

    They’ve had a decent season and can be proud to be the best team from South London.

  9. avatar JamieSpurs says:

    For ‘students’ (not the crusty, tax dodging-type) of the beautiful game who like a bit of in-depth analysis……….

  10. avatar Foggy says:

    Quite often I have read posts on sites that claim Defoe is a one dimensional player ,and has nothing more to his game than a shoot on site ethos.Well perhaps after seeing that pass for Bales goal they’ll have a change of heart.

    It was also nice to see Some quick counter attacking football instead of slowing it down to a near stop,well done Spurs.

    Oh,and nice avatar KayBee.

  11. avatar Spiritual Advisor says:

    Good Morning All, abet a bleary eyed hungover one .

    God damn is good to be a Spurs man today, two words…….

    Danny Rose


    • avatar who framed ruel fox? says:

      Hungover? I feel like pig’s shat in my head. 🙁

      Wasn’t it amazing to see Danny Rose seconds before the final whistle?; he didn’t know whether to smile or throw up. An absolute bag of nerves. I just wanted to give him a hug.

      What a star.

  12. 11 long years to take the NLD back. I am still in complete awe of Ledley King. The man has been gone for quite some time now, comes back into the first squad with little training and preparation, holds down the fort, and is such a class act for being able to accept that he is no longer the captain – taking orders from his once understudy.

    Ledley, I do not know where we would be without you.


    • avatar KayBee says:

      I very much echo this. ^^

      I was initially apprehensive about Ledders walking back in and disturbing the Daws/Bassong duo that’s been working so well, but the fact he can waltz into the first team and put in one of the classic defensive performances of the season speaks volumes about the ability and mental make-up of the man.


      “Ledley, I do not know where we would be without you.” Ditto Mr Wehbi, but how about this: “Ledley, where might we have been if you’d not had your injury”?

      Anyway, great post as always, elwehbi! 🙂

  13. avatar SeattleSpursGuy says:

    Fuck Arsenal

    🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

  14. avatar SeattleSpursGuy says:

    Sorry to keep doing that but it’s been a long time coming. I think you’ve covered the ins and outs of the brilliant result, but I wanted to briefly mention Wenger. Was it me or was he actually………gracious in defeat? I couldn’t believe he admitted we were the better team on the night. I can’t recall him ever doing that.

    Of course, it hasn’t stopped the brain washed Arse fans. I perused the Arse Newsnow articles–don’t worry; I wore protection–and it’s chock full of “we had injuires (WAHHHH)” “Spurs parked the bus (SOBBBBBBBB!)” We had all the possession (CRYYYYYYYY!”)

    To quote Spooky, “Dry Em.”

    You were beaten by a combination of stout hearts and team effort that you couldn’t match.

    Oh yeah, FUCK ARSENAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • I hear that.

      Amazing that the first post on here today was from a very articulate, humble Arsenal fan.

      Caught me off guard a bit.

      • avatar SeattleSpursGuy says:

        Me too. I don’t know what to think when that happens.

        Just a word about the Arse’s possession advantage: It’s meaningless. This goes hand in hand with the rubbish about “parking the bus.” It’s the same crap they spouted after losing to MU and the Chavs. There is no bus involved in having an organized defensive plan and then counter punching quickly after winning the ball back. The Chavs beat them this way and so did we The Arse had lots of the ball but what’s the point if they just knock it back and forth? It did nothing but give Ledley time to marshal the troops. They only looked a threat when the rapist came on and they went more direct (what, no beautiful football?)

      • avatar KayBee says:

        Yeah, but within two posts he reverted to typical Arsenal arrogance in saying

        “I think your closer to us than you have previously been but I don’t think you’ll majorly scare us in the coming years…”.

        Not that humble, really. 😉

  15. avatar SeattleSpursGuy says:

    Regarding the Arse’s possession advantage, let me quote the immortal Ray Hudson:

    “Without penetration, it’s just masturbation, and right now, we’re playing with ourselves.”

  16. avatar graham says:

    I am stuck here in Ny with the icelanders causing yet more trouble for us brits…but who cares ?
    its a great day today !!

    C O Y S

  17. avatar KayBee says:

    Brace yourselves boys, and take with a pinch of salt until you get official confirmation, but…


    Yeah baby.

  18. avatar sambo says:

    Right, now to the blue scum. I see future Spurs player Joe Cole has been shooting his mouth off in the Guardian this morning ‘beating spurs will be the final nail in the United coffin’ etc. Pin it on the dressing room wall Harry.

    Joe normally scores at least one against us so we’ll probably need two for a draw, of which I will gladly settle for. A point should be enough to get us level with City, as I predict a United win.


  19. avatar JamieSpurs says:

    I said before this manic April run that I would quite happily take 4 pts from these 3 games. My assessment has changed somewhat after Wednesday night.

    I see no reason why we can’t beat Chelsea on Saturday. Part of me thinks we’ll end up getting shaded and losing 2-1 BUT part of me also harks back to Harry’s first week in charge and Super Pav’s wonder finish ; ) against Liverpool that got us all 3pts.

    The Lane was totally rocking that night against Liverpool and after Wednesday’s victory over Arsenal I just think it’ll be just as loud, raucous, vitriolic and downright asbo inducingly noisy! Chelsea were rubbish against Bolton on Tuesday night and that was Stamford Bridge. Tomorrow they have to come to the Lane and face a bouyant Spurs side. Ok, we’re without Wilson but I firmly believe that if we can carry the same amount of passion, drive, committment and heart into tomoro’s game as we did on Wednesday that we can beat them.

    The key to Wednesday was that we WANTED it more than them. People like Dawson, Hudd, Luka, Big Younes (who IMPRESSED me big time), BAE and Baler worked incredibly hard and just had that raw desire to not get beaten. If we can replicate that again tomoro then I feel we can win.

    We also have Lennon to come on from the bench if we need him and Eidur against his old club will probably get an appearance.

    I’d even suggest throwing in Jake Livermore and just telling him to go out there and WANT it, do what Wilson does and cover every blade of grass, if it’s wearing a blue shirt and it has the ball, get after it, tackle it, stop it, take the ball and pass it simple.

  20. avatar who framed ruel fox? says:

    Chelsea shakedown on its way later.

    Have a lovely day.

  21. avatar SeattleSpursGuy says:

    More than anything I want to see the same level of commitment as was on show Wednesday. Do that and we are more than in this.

    One sickening thought: we win, the Arse are handed a lifeline in the title hunt (assuming they win their next one). We also have to hope the Arse beat Shitty down the line, which could put the Scum back in the title race.

    Dear Jeebus, football is a worrying thing.

  22. avatar SeattleSpursGuy says:

    from the OS

    Harry Redknapp said he will wait on the fitness of ‘one or two’ players with knocks as he prepares the squad for Chelsea on Saturday.

    However, the manager revealed that Aaron Lennon was not yet ready to return from his groin injury.

    The good news is that the winger took a full part in training on Friday. “It was great to see him out there again and it will be down to Aaron and how he feels,” said Harry. “Hopefully it will be sooner rather than later and he’ll be back in time to play a part before the end of the season.”

    Also definitely missing are Niko Kranjcar -Vedran Corluka (ankle) and Jermain Jenas (illness). Wilson Palacios serves the second and final match of his two-match suspension.

    “JJ had a bit of a jog around today but he’s been ill all week,” added Harry. “Charlie (Corluka) has a protective boot on now for his ankle. He needed a painkilling injection at Wembley but he could be back before the end of the season.”

    As we reported earlier, Harry said there was a chance that Ledley King could feature against Chelsea –

  23. avatar SeattleSpursGuy says:

    Walker, Daws, King (or Seb), Baler
    Bentley, Kaboul, Thudd, Luka
    Gud, Pav

  24. avatar SeattleSpursGuy says:

    This is early I know, but I’ve been considering next year’s prospects for improvement.

    Who is going next year? PSB, Hutton, Gio, & Adel I think are definitely off. Is 21-24 million out of the question?

    Probably going is Pav (sadly); another 14-15 million? Should be going are Jamie & Jenas; 10 to 12? Perhaps Bentley (though I think he is useful)? 9-10 or so?

    A kitty of 45 to 60 million for improving the squad isn’t too bad.

    What do we need? Keeping in mind the 25 man squad limit?

    GK: Mad Gomes is set, but will Carlo or Ben stick? At least one backup keeper is needed.

    D: Daws, Seb, Charlie & Bale certainly. Walker I like and Naughton I don’t know enough about, so he may be the odd man out. YK and BAE? Useful but not essential. If there are better squad players, get them, but I’m OK with them staying.

    Then there is the King and Woody. I can see at least one of them never playing again, sadly. Do we risk a spot on the 25 man squad on one or both? I don’t see how we can. Do we splash big money on a CB to partner Daws or trust him and Bass, with occasional help from King or Woody? This is our most vexing issue, I think, but I think have to buy in a CB.

    M: Lennon, Luka, Wilson, Thudd, Sandro, Niko for sure. I’d keep Bentley. This whole business about the 25 man squad is developing the yoof, so step up Jake and Broadway Danny Rose (legend). Or maybe Bostock steps up in the Summer.

    S: If PSB & Pav go, we then have JD & 3MP for sure. I don’t see Harry moving Crouch, and I’m OK with that as long he is Plan C. I’d certainly want Gud to stay, but who knows if that works out. Monaco sounded like they want stupid money for him, but hopefully we can get him. If not, we’re likely looking at the return of PSB.

    No matter what, we need a striker. This is where most of the cash should go. A classy 25 goal man. Who? Not sure! But that is what we need. World Cup year, so we get to see what’s out there.


    Gomes + 2 back ups

    Daws, Seb, Charlie, Bale. Kyle. YK and BAE (or replacements). One of King or Woody. One new face.

    Lennon, Luka, Wilson, Thudd, Sandro, Niko, Bentley, Danny, Jake (maybe Bostock).

    JD, Crouch, Gud (or PSB). Big Money Signing.

    25 heroes.

  25. *out of breath*

    New post up.

    Sorry my (re)tardiness.

    🙁 🙂

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