Fourth Place Egg and Spoon Race


In the kaleidoscope of the season’s finale- when all the talk subsides and the bedlam of eight months of football is shaken into some kind of natural order- this game could well go down as one that helped define it. Some part of it, at any rate. The bit which has, perhaps, been the most intriguing story of the whole damn affair.

The race for fourth place.

With all the false starts and mishaps from those in contention, it’s often difficult to know exactly who’s after it. Or, indeed, who is, but wont know what to do once they’ve got there. Liverpool probably started as favourites. Even without Alonso, it’s safe to say the Anfield lot know their way around the upper regions of the Premier League- they’re old hats. To the befuddlement of Papa Benitez and many others, however, they started with a whimper. It turned out- to the dismay of last season’s runners up- that not only was the Spaniard an important egg in the crate, he was keeping the entire factory in business. Without him they appeared rudderless and distinctly ordinary. But they’ve negotiated a corner it would seem; the plug on the life-support machine has been shoed back into the socket and there’s the definite look of a pulse flashing across the monitor. They even look to be up for a fight. Which is a nuisance.

Man City. Possibly the opponents of which to be most wary. Sitting dormant in sixth but with a two game advantage to make up a single point. You do the math, as our American cousins might suggest. Well I did, and the outlook is worrying. Turns out money can buy you happiness after all; or a Carling Cup semi-final, at the very least.

And then there’s Villa- our adversaries on Saturday afternoon. Since making the wise decision to remove themselves from the Europa League in September- thus preserving vital energy- Martin O’Neil’s flock have been churning out a consistent season. Garry Barry may have departed sometime ago now, but unlike Liverpool, they’ve had a replacement in-waiting all along. James Milner. FHM conducted an experiment in this month’s issue, asking the question ‘How Accurate Are Footballers?’ Using young James as the guinea pig, they tested his precision from five to thirty-five yards; the target being a victim gaffer-taped to a goal post. How accurate are footballers? It turns out, very. Out of the twenty efforts, Milner missed just twice. I can see why Keegan wanted shot of him. Elsewhere, the dangers are bred from the usual pool of suspects; Abonglohor is finding something resembling form again- not that you’d realise it with the look of bemusement permanently carved on his mug. Not one of nature’s most charming of vistas, that.

From our point of view, nothing short of a maximum haul will suffice tomorrow. Villa got off lightly at their end last time around, with us indulging in the typical routine of keeping possession but allowing ourselves to be careless in front of goal. Crouch chuckled as the ball bounced in every direction but goalward. We failed to see the funny side. Tottenham dominated the second half- on their own back yard, no less- but left the Midlands clutching just a single point while rueing the loss of two more. At home, close to full strength, there’s no reason why we can’t perform that elusive miracle of turning a watery one point into a wine-soaked three. Sainthood beckons for whoever can mange it.

2-1 for me.

St. Peter to grab a divine double.


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19 Responses to Fourth Place Egg and Spoon Race

  1. avatar charlie big potato says:

    A very nicely written article. Cheers.

    Spurs need three points and nothing else will do.

    Any news on Eidur making a start?


  2. avatar JimmyG2 says:

    Certainly a ‘mustn’t lose’, possibly a ‘ must win’ probably a draw then. Momentum and home advantage should see us squeak this one. King, Modric, and Palacios rested might just swing it our way.
    Not another ‘big one’ says Mrs. Jimmy G2. She knows nothing but she’s not always wrong.

  3. We will set up like so:

    Charlie, Daws, Deadly, Baler
    Bentley, Sarge, Thud, Luka
    3MP, JD

    Subs: Alnwick, Bass, Kyle, Rose, Niko, JJ, Gud

    1st half will be tight, as I think Villa won’t come to play. Just lying deep and looking to counter. If we don’t put one in by the hour, I see Gud coming in for 3MP.

    The big danger is Villa nicking the 1st goal and then really sitting back, a repeat of the game at their place.

    I’m with you on the score line, Fox, but don’t see Pete with a brace. One each for him and Defoe (or Gud if 3MP is subbed off).

    If not, I blame Keane…….for not taking Jenas north.

    • avatar who framed ruel fox? says:

      Can’t argue with the line up, SSG. It has quite a balanced feel to it. More of the same from the ever improving Bentley and Bale and we could be in business.

      And, if not, Keane is almost certainly at fault. But that’s a given.

  4. avatar who framed ruel fox? says:

    I have a request. One that I hope you good people could help with.

    When I bought this domain I was given some free advertising credits for Facebook.

    I know, I know…

    But, not one to turn down anything free, let alone a shameless bit of plugging, I stuck a link up yesterday. If I’ve done it right- which I almost certainly haven’t- then it should point towards any Spurs fans who’ve hinted such on their FB page.

    Can anyone tell me if they’ve some across such a thing? It should appear in the advertising column in the right-hand side.

    Thank you muchly in advance.. 🙂

  5. avatar DAVSPURS says:

    S.S.G. Why have you left Kaboul of the radar we need to see if he has improved and its not just Harry paying pompy’s wages and where is Kranjcar i had him scoring in our 4-1 demo .Your not going tolike this but our sarge should sit this one out for one good reason youngs free kicks Sarge has a habit of giving away free kicks and with Downning playing thats double trouble.I can watch this game but if it was Everton Liverpool Birmingham Stoke Hull or a few others no thanks .This would be my first HALF TEAM. GOMES CORLUKA DAWSON BASSONG KABOUL BENTLEY HUDDLESTONE KRANJCAR BALE DEFOE GUDDYTWOGOALS. SECOND HALF. MODERIC FOR BASSONG BALE GO LEFT BACK CROUCH FOR GUDDY KING FOR BENTLEY LAST TEN MINS

  6. Davspurs is a Tottenham legend!

    I totally agree with you Fox in regards to Liverpool… Rafa has managed them very well up until now; surprising thing is many are quite ungrateful towards him, which is a load of shit in my opinion. Anyways, that’s their concern and not ours. I think Villa will give us a very hard time today, especially on the counter. I am quite concerned with their pace and the amount of pressure they can exert in front of goal. Corluka better stay awake for this one until the final whistle


  7. avatar Longwell says:

    Another day, another committed defense we can’t break down. Next up, ten Wolves behind the ball…

  8. avatar kojac says:


    st peter to bag a devine double,

    good joke foxy….wink

    i can’t find any smileys

  9. avatar kojac says:

    i’ve got a feeling about 3-0 away at wolves,i don’t know why,but i’m going to go with it


  10. avatar KayBee says:

    Does anyone else think that instead of our constant attacking of Villa at the weekend, we should have invited them onto us a little more?

    The only time we really looked like scoring were the couple of times we hit them on the break.

    Constantly going at them kept them compact and deep, with too many men behind the ball, and no way through for us.

    Bah, what do I know. 🙂

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