Crouching Peter, Forbidden Talent
For many a tortured soul, Peter Crouch’s exit from Tottenham was as good as a new signing. A two-season career which peaked in Manchester on that famous evening- briefly spiking into the green with a Young Boys beating hat-trick and the heroics in Lombardy- withered somewhat terminally in its final months. By all accounts a lovely chap off the pitch; an embodiment of frustration and blundering ineptitude on it. If the goal at Eastlands was a defining moment in his time at Spurs, the other goal in Eastlands was, equally.
Not to mention that spazzy red card at the Bernabéu. Or the way he always used to laugh every time a feebly rolled effort would be gulped down the keeper’s neck when scoring looked a whole lot easier. Or for making Spurs fans young and old want to jam their hand in their George Foreman each time his name appeared on a team-sheet. Or for… well, you get the idea.
Nope. There’s no doubt a about it, the love rather petered out for our Peter in his last days at the club, and if someone was willing to pay anything to get him off our books- let alone ten chuffing million- then it would’ve been a case of taking the money and not just running; but running straight to the nearest airport and flying to the Seychelles to start a new life as King of the Daylight Swindle.
And so to Stoke, Crouch’s new home. Despite the excellent Phillippe Auclair’s statistically accurate claim that the Potters’ ‘fortress’ at the Britannia hasn’t exactly been impenetrable over the last year or so- at least, not as tough a place to get points as you might assume- they have managed home draws against Chelsea and United this term, as well as a victory over Liverpool. An admirable jaunt in the Europa League has weighed heavy on their shoulders at times (they should try not giving a sh*t) but they appear to be balancing the fixtures quite nicely of late and are beginning to chisel out the results. Two wins on the bounce and they’re settled comfortably in the League’s midriff.
What Spurs will make of them, I couldn’t guess. The smart money is on a grizzly 1-2 victory with perhaps Crouch getting one for them and one for us. Like the good old days. I’ll be delighted with a win which ever manner it lands on our table. But what say you?
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