Scraping the Barrel
No sucker wants to talk to us. Let alone sign. I feel a rejection complex coming on. We’re the football equivalent of a cold caller who rings up just on the stroke of teatime to give you the hard sell on some new health insurance. Just as you’ve tucked a fork into the grey matter on your plate that looks only slightly more appealing than what the cat’s eating- or what he’s about to leave on the carpet- and it’s Keith from the front desk wanting to chat about upgrading your life choices. Is this a good time?, he says. Click. In the hunt for a new centre-forward, it seems, we’re being given one heck of a cold shoulder.
Suarez chooses Liverpool; Rossi, Fabiano and Forlan all happy enough in Spain. Even the Biker Grove Baggio is being priced out the market by the shakers on Tyneside. Anything over twenty million is silly money for me; particularly for someone who appears just as likely to dish out a knuckle supper as he is to score a late winner. Nothing against the canny lad. The hard truth is that options/time are/is running thin. And, if Chelsea get anywhere close to recruiting Fernando Torres in the next few days, the true extent of these mind-bogglingly obvious shortcomings will become all too clear. I’ll put my cards on the table here: the Drogba/Torres combo scares the sh*t out of me. More alarming, though, is the idea that Peter Crouch can play as a lone striker for the rest of the season.
This way, surely, surely madness lies.
Anyway, chin up. Craven Cottage this afternoon and some F.A cup shenanigan by the river. I’ll wager that a few forgotten faces will be on parade today. An exercise for some of blowing away a few cobwebs; for others a chance to remind any perspective buyers what they might look like. Similar to an actor putting a headshot of themselves at the front of a résumé. People like to know what they’re getting, you see. Perhaps a last outing for Robert Keane before heading East, then? If he hasn’t already. I do lose track.
**Winner of the Caption Competition in the previous post is SimonP who wins a Danny Blanchflower ‘The Game Is About Glory’ t-shirt. Courtesy of Philosophy Football. Get in touch, Simon**
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