Wetter Than an Otter’s Pocket

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This progression malarkey isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. You think you’re getting somewhere; playing eye-catching football, winning more games than you lose, climbing the table, consolidating. Heck, we’ve even got a glittery new stadium in the pipeline- one who’s shiny, futuristic design makes you wonder whether the architect has a few Buck Rogers DVDs lurking in his collection. A big fat lump of glorious modernity which towers over the North London skyline; a home as grandiose as our ambition.


Then, with a sore neck from craning upward, you realise there maybe a spot of work to do yet.

Last night was close to being unwatchable. The main source of concern- even more than Webb’s customary balls-up- was the mark of hopelessness which dripped through the ranks once Kuyt had opened the scoring. Somehow, all the pie-charts and archive footage provided on Sky Sports, regarding our frankly useless record against the Top 4, had emblazoned itself into the minds of our troops. The result- in the view of those watching as well as playing- became inevitable. We just don’t do Anfield.

Remember, this is a team who, all but a week ago, were being touted as compost, rather Champions League material. No urgency, no fight, no way back. Qualities, as it happens, notably absent from our end. It was a limp performance; a glass of tap water. A dry cracker. Nothing that would encourage you to go back for more.

So who can we blame? Someone, surely? We’ll get the fairly compelling excuses out of the way first. Howard Webb is a mistake away from having an effigy of himself pinned to the ticket gates at Seven Sisters. Andy Gray claimed: ‘He’s one of our best referees’ in between slapping his thigh and lampooning the man’s peculiar methods. How he saw fit to disallow Defoe’s goal is beyond anyone without a penchant for twisted logic. If you start rewarding people for idiocy- as Webb did by saving Reina’s blushes- then you may as well start handing out Nobel prizes to monkeys. It would have the same effect. His incessant punishing of Crouch also had me reaching for my address book, too:

‘I’ll double your fee if you make it a head shot.’

I jest. Partially. From our uninspiring mob, there was little to write home about. Modric, but for a few sparks of genius, was anonymous. Jenas spent the majority of the game apologetically bumping into people like a netball centre; arms crossed over his chest, presumably to hide his bra. Keane looked hungry enough when he came on; chasing lost causes, getting amongst the action. But for all his short-lived effort, he struggled to make an impact. Plenty of other half-baked performances, ones which I might go into at a later date. If I can bare it.

Another one to be swept under the carpet. It’s getting too crowded under there for my liking. We need to stop fannying about against these teams and take chances when they arise.

Otherwise all this talk of progression will count for absolutely nothing.


Really, come on.

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26 Responses to Wetter Than an Otter’s Pocket

  1. avatar anon says:

    Let’s not pretend that Howard Webb is making mistakes. 5 decisions that even Stevie Wonder could see should go to Spurs all went to Big 4 clubs (Man U 1, Chelsea 1 and Liverpool 3)

    The man knows what he is doing. Making sure no club ever threatens the boring monopoly of the Big 4.

    • avatar tdog says:

      Webb’s diplay last night was nothing short of awful! but more to the point, was any Spurs supporter surprised……..? half of me expected it and the other half was reasoning “he cant do it to us again, can he?” But it happens so often now that lastnight I found myself just accepting it as given!
      How do these ref’s get away with it?…………The answer seems to be simple, If Manure, Arse, Chelski and Livpuds remain the top four teams the Prem is worth more.
      Just imagin if Man C, Spurs & Villa replaced three of the current top Four! Do really think that they would achieve the same Global price? Ooooh no.

      It’s all a Fix, that’s why video evidence will not be introduced.

  2. avatar Davspurs says:

    I wish our team where has polished has this site my two best players where missing and that pleases me because Big Tom would have bean the main excuse for us getting beat.Living 12 miles from the dippers they are bragging that its Harry who will be sacked ,Harry told sky they pressed us allover and stopped us from playing if we had Lennon we could have got behind them well he could be right but Reina was like a cheetah defending behind is defense and the creek who a couple of weeks ago was slow and crap suddenly looks like Sammy Hypia and they looked faster all over the field amazing how Rafa can get is team tempo so high he done the same when utd played there the most worrying thing is i predicted this on here the day before and said they would chase the ball like a police dog and that players missing would make no different s .So HARRY THE NEXT TWO GAMES WILL BE JUST HAS FRENETIC EVEN IF THEY HAVE PLAYERS MISSING

  3. You know, perception is funny thing. According to the media–and a lot of so called supporters on other blogs–us being 4th, level points with Shitty and a point better than Pool is some kind of smoke and mirrors deal and our return to mid table is assured.

    Well guess what? The. Table. Does. Not. Lie. We’re 4th. Spurs. And we got there with what many are calling our nutless, no heart players and our inept, twitchy gaffer. Why is everything so black and white? Football is not that simple. We have talented players and a good boss, and I firmly expect that we will continue to be in the mix for CL football.

    As for those around us, Rafa is now being hailed as the favorite, but still has a decimated squad and not much beyond some fight and vague memories of being football royalty once. They were playing for their lives last night and won. It happens.

    Shitty? The media darlings? Well, we beat the ever lovin’ snot out of them a while back. Hell, Everton smacked them pretty good and we are far better than Everton.

    We are still in this. Poor play last night? Sure, many did not play well. Strange subs? Some I wouldn’t have made, but I don’t get to pick. I also don’t see the training and don’t know who deserves a game. I’m willing to defer to the guy who has been in professional football for 40 odd years on the slight chance he might know more than me.

  4. From the previous blog:

    ”anon says:
    January 19, 2010 at 10:44 pm (Edit)
    I predict Howard Webb to give Pool a dodgy penalty, or deny us a stonewall penalty”

    Not too far wrong…

  5. avatar Alan Nielsons deflected goal says:

    How dare you be so rational and level headed?

  6. avatar baxter stockholm says:

    ”Jenas spent the majority of the game apologetically bumping into people like a netball centre; arms crossed over his chest, presumably to hide his bra.”

    That’s hilarious… 🙂

  7. avatar JimmyG2 says:

    Why play proper footballers like Modric and then get Dawson to whack the ball over his head for most of the game? No wonder he didn’t have any impact.
    Where were the game changing tactics and substitutions that mght just have retrieved this from its inevitable conclusion.
    We are on a downward curve here whatever the specifics of this game: poor ref. decisions
    or whatever. The Tottenham skeletons fell out of the warddrobe with some clatter last night.
    Whatever that means.

    • Bit of a poser with Dawson. I think he has played pretty this year. He can certainly tackle and he wins a lot in the air and his reading of the game has definitely improved. I remember him getting killed by the fans not long ago as not good enough, panicky, etc. but I think part of that was Daws trying to do more than he was capable of. He isn’t terribly skillful and I remember a lot of terrifying moments when he tried to play the ball up the field. It often seemed like a disaster waiting to happen, and led to pressure, over thinking, lack of confidence, etc.

      “Arry comes in and (my sense, anyway) tells Daws to not try and be a “footballer” (in the skills sense) and just be in the right positions and win the air battle. And when in doubt, just kick the ball out of there. This has improved Dawson’s defending but leads to to the long ball bypassing midfield. So we have a better defender but it takes away from our attacking play.

      • avatar JimmyG2 says:

        Agree with your analysis. But Harry has tried to turn him into our playmaker. The long ball is not Dawson’s idea and when we were playing well he cut it right down.
        For this match I think Harry decided, wrongly, that the long ball to Crouch was the answer.
        What are Modric Kranjcar and Jenas or Huddlestone supposed to do while the ball is being deliverd like a rocket over 60yds to a forward who has little ability to hold the ball up or direct his headers in the direction of a Spurs player?
        Lay th ball off man to someone who can use it.

  8. avatar matt says:

    two words. jenas and bale.

  9. avatar H.R.T says:

    Has anyone noticed the fucking gooners have gone top? I’m a Chelsea fan with a game in hand but I expected you guys to be crying into your beers.

  10. avatar Spiritual Advisor says:

    Wow! Looking up at the comments I’m glad to have been working during the match. Still on the bright side gives ‘arry a few days to knock some lumps out of the squad, berate them and send them out to knock the stuffing out of Leeds on Saturday.

  11. avatar Ben says:

    Not a spurs or Arsenal fan but must ask the question, What is your obsessive hatred with Arsenal about! OK they have won more league/FA cups than you but you have won more European trophys than them why dont you large it? When I visit their sites they just look as you as nothing more than a joke & brag about what good football they play! I`m Just fifteen years old but my old man tells me that it was Spurs who used to play the best football in the league & Arsenal were boring.

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