If at First You Don’t Succeed…



Well not a disastrous weekend by any stretch; but perhaps a little predictable. It seems even the least clairvoyant of have-a-go pundits had this one on the money. It was as if the results were written in the stars in a font size hitting triple figures- bold and italicised should there be any confusion. First the stalemate at The Cottage- we could all see that coming- then the ensuing semi-final tombola which matches us up against Portsmouth. Which- should we get the far- is a tie with more potential sub-plots than a Coen brothers film.

Further intrigue was unearthed yesterday as The Times did their best to shed light on what might happen to the accumulated prize money destined to the South Coast; the hard bucks Pompey were planning on using as a raft to keep them above water. (With a sail made out of novelty-size cheques, presumably) Sadly, for Avram’s lot, it’s not quite the bounteous, creditor appeasing cash-cow they may’ve wished for. With outstanding transfer fees running over the three million mark, the rewards garnered thus far will mostly likely be used to pay off their bar-tab. The £600,000 won’t be rolling into club’s pocket, then, but rather the safe hands of the F.A. Until Portsmouth can be trusted not to splurge such amounts on Gambian full-backs or gold plated ceiling fans. Hence, if we do push Fulham aside for a meet up with Harry’s old employers, make no mistake, they’re going to be a team resolved in the idea of wreaking havoc. A wounded animal, up to its eyeballs in infection, looking to bite anything in range. Almost certainly relegated, players evacuating quicker than a Godzilla occupied Tokyo, no money, no money on the horizon. I think it’s safe to say they would take great pleasure in doing a number on us. We need to kick their diseased face off.

Before all that, though, it’s Roy Hodgson’s outfit who need a route masterminding past. I didn’t particularly enjoy watching us on Saturday. It was a jittery, nervous affair. Not to mention a bit on the dreary side- scandalous for any Tottenham side this year. Or any year for that matter. I can handle kamikaze defending or even madness in the ranks; but boring? Not on my watch. Gomes was our stand-out performer; an indicator that Fulham had plenty of the running. Not to say they outplayed us- just much of the good stuff came in our box, giving the Brazilian plenty of opportunities to stretch his legs as well as his finger tips.

Home advantage beckons, then. It might be unwise to say we’re in the driving seat- tempting fate has become second nature around these parts- but we’ve certainly adjusted the seat nicely. Now we’ve just got to find the button which massages our back and motors us into the next round.

And then we can put those free-loading, draft dodgers out of their misery in the semis.

Who says chivalry was a lost art?


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57 Responses to If at First You Don’t Succeed…

  1. avatar Trembly says:

    We need to mastermind past Fulham now? Gadzooky. I wonder what our specialist subject would be?

  2. avatar Trembly says:

    As for Portsmouth. Put them down and burn them like the disease ridden animals they are.

  3. avatar Spiritual Advisor says:

    I reckon now would be a superb time to recall O’Hara from loan, he’s ideal Sarge cover and without doubt Portsmouth’s best player.

  4. avatar Sambo says:

    I, for one, admire greatly what Mr Hodgson has achieved at Fulham they are now a tough nut to crack. I would not be unhappy if he were to slip into Don Fabio’s hand stitched loafers once he clears off after the summers football frenzy.

    We should comfortable brush the cottagers aside at the Lane, then the Portsmouth… Have we had a better chance to get to the FA cup final since 2000-01?

  5. avatar Stevie Yido Rhea says:

    Long time reader first time poster blah blah. I think we will see both Fulham & Pompey off no worries. Then to the final against Villa or (ahem) the racist scum in the final, with a fully fit Lennon, King, Hundredstone etc…. Glory glory! Loving your work by the way top draw! 😉

  6. avatar Stevie Yido Rhea says:

    Why, thankyou kindly Kaybee! 🙂

  7. avatar Stevie Yido Rhea says:

    Cheers everyone! Oy, such a lovely welcome! 😀

  8. avatar JamieSpurs says:

    We’ll do Fulham at WHL no problem. Fulham away from the quaint little cottage are totally different gravy…………. You know the weak piss water type of gravy that you get on a Tesco snack bar roast dinner.

    However, Spurs are the masters of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory and as such we can’t take Fulham for granted. They need to be disposed of in the same way Leeds and Bolton were eradicated………… swiftly and with the minimum amount of effort and fuss.

    Our attention must be focused fully on beating Blackeye Rovers this weekend whilst making sure we do not fall foul of that supreme wanker Howard Webb. Blackburn footballing style is more akin to a Wormwood Scrubs Select 11 than the premiership so we need to start fast and score early then apply the pressure and wrap up the game with time to spare.

    I’d even be tempted to give Andros Townsend 15-20mins if things are going our way.


  9. avatar JamieSpurs says:

    I have always admired from afar but seeing a good friend on here prompted me to post.

    I actually hold Townsend in higher regard than I do Danny Rose.

    Rose has always flattered to deceive IMO. However, Rose does have a touch of the early Lennon about him which makes me think he’ll be VERY handy in a year or two if he’s coached right. His delivery is much better than Lennon’s was at the same age if you ask me so he obviously has potential..

    • avatar spud gun says:

      Been underwhelmed with Rose everytime I’ve seen him but he’s only 19 ain’t he?

      Still a great prospect but I feel one who is going to need a little more patience. Reports of him upping his game in training when Harry challenged him show a good attitude which is nice to see though

      On another note is their any special sage like technique to get an avatar working on this site.

      Have tried numerous times with no joy and don’t feel a part of things without a nice little pic by my name!

    • avatar Trembly says:

      Greetings to Glasgee. I wholely agree with you regarding Townsend. Raw, but very much a leftsided lennon moreso than Rose imh. Both Andros and that Mason chap should get more of a run out next season – or at least I hope they do in the cups, unless farmed out to other PL clubs of course.

  10. avatar KayBee says:

    Spud, log in using this link


    and you can upload an Av…

  11. avatar spud says:

    The Manilow is in the building!

    Apologies for any disruptions, blame my technological ineptitude!!

    • avatar KayBee says:

      You know I can’t smile without you
      I can’t smile without you
      I can’t laugh and I can’t sing
      I’m finding it hard to do anything
      You see I feel sad when you’re sad
      I feel glad when you’re glad
      If you only knew what I’m going through
      I just can’t smile without you

      You came along just like a song
      And brightened my day
      Who would have believed that you were part of a dream
      Now it all seems light years away

      And now you know I can’t smile without you
      I can’t smile without you
      I can’t laugh and I can’t sing
      I’m finding it hard to do anything
      You see I feel sad when you’re sad
      I feel glad when you’re glad
      If you only knew what I’m going through
      I just can’t smile

      Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
      Well, I’m finding it hard leaving your love behind me

      And you see I can’t smile without you
      I can’t smile without you
      I can’t laugh and I can’t sing
      I’m finding it hard to do anything
      You see I feel glad when you’re glad
      I feel sad when you’re sad
      If you only knew what I’m going through
      I just can’t smile without you

    • avatar Spiritual Advisor says:

      Hurrah, massive hooter did get in after all !

  12. avatar who framed ruel fox? says:

    Nice to see everyone getting along….

  13. avatar JamieSpurs says:

    I love you all!!

    I’ll be getting my avatar sorted tomorrow. Loving Barry Manilow!

  14. Palacios was quite impressive at Fulham… this while tip-toeing the fine line of being potentially yellow-carded.

    “Fuck that noise! Kenny-Fuckin’-Powers”

  15. physioroom has Azza’s return date as a week from now. I thought he out for longer, but I hope this is true.

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