The Abridged Match Reports | Maribor (zzz) Saints (yeah!) Norwich (boo!)

Hello. We’ve been off your screens for a few days now. I would blame it on the chronic gambling addiction I’ve developed but everyone knows nothing ever bad came of gambling. In the small amount of time it takes you to wish we’d stayed away a bit longer, then, let’s have a look what’s been going in the world of Hotspur since we last spoke. Who knows, it might be fun.*

*There will be precisely no fun had by anyone.

 

Maribor Away

When scientists eventually find a way to delete precise chunks from a person’s memory, this might be ninety-minutes I’ll do away with. Indeed, it’s not yet possible to un-watch something that’s already happened; perhaps this game will encourage governments of the world to increase funding and get that memory expunger built. Must-Win was the understanding before kick-off. Must Not Bore to Death would’ve been a start. On the bright side, Gylfi Sigurdsson scored. Which after much discussion has been confirmed a nice thing to happen. Good on him.

Southampton Away

This, a third successive away win for Spurs in the League, which propelled Andre Villas-Boas’ team to a rather handsome fourth spot. If this truly is the End of Days for our dear club it’s a lot less fire and brimstone than I’d imagined.

The first half was one of virile domination from Tottenham, signalled rather handily by the two-goal lead we took into the break. Lennon was bright and bubbly for large parts. Walker, off the back of a disappointing day against Chelsea last week, looked pretty good too. Appreciative, I’m sure, of the vast expanses of green he was allowed to gallop into at his leisure. Meanwhile, enjoyer of ladies, Jermain Defoe, could well have taken the match ball home at half-time. Had he not spent much of the afternoon trying to catapult said ball into the Channel.

The second half, well. Thank heavens for Sandro’s face, I say.

Norwich Away

Again, by the sounds of it, Spurs had their assertive paws on this one but allowed Norwich back into it after Bale’s opener. Two late goals conceded through varying degrees of defensive cow-pattery. Limping out of the Cup is never fun- especially as some of the other big teams appear to be having such a hoot in the COC this year- and neither is missing a penalty. It’s all relative, though. Clint Dempsey should thank himself lucky he’s not Roy of the Rovers. I found out the other day that the fictional kickballer was forced to retire after injuries from a helicopter crash required him to have his BLOODY FOOT AMPUTATED!? You certainly can’t rap your way out of a missing foot. Also, most seem to agree that Iago Falque had an excellent game, so it swings in round-a-bouts.

Some thoughts on Wigan in due course. Just have to make a quick phone call.

 

Sometimes I do Twitters, too.

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2 Responses to The Abridged Match Reports | Maribor (zzz) Saints (yeah!) Norwich (boo!)

  1. avatar DAVSPURS says:

    wellcome back the sly one Foxy we are certamly a rollere coaster club at the moment playing with no strikers was a gamble we was winning. But bringing Vertonghan on in midfield was a gamble Avb lost a stray flick a stupid arm pulled on Holt and a shit penalty and we are out of the egg cup. So Foxy.Gambling is a risky business even when you dominate the game for 70 odd mins. Lets get back to the League last week showed why i cant watch second half of games with confidants Utd 2-0 3-2 Southampton 2-0 2-1 Reading 4 Arsnal 1 Reading 5 Arsenal 7. This is why the amount of skulduggery going on in changing rooms at half time is shocking and is the main ingredients for come backs. I wont bore you with the details but i will say this Foxy Wigan will soak up our attacks when Bale or Lennon get to the byline and look up there will be 8 Wigan players in the box waiting and hit us on the break. This Football is based on extra energy so teams can last 94 mins and defend in numbers this is why some games have two different teams after half time. When England’s game was called off it highlighted what is going on in Football a supplement once banned in 2005 is now allowed Caffeine and i have found out some teams are mixing these with Ephedrine and aspirin so it acts quicker and gives a bigger energy boost like the formula one booster . We need to score before this licks in after 15 min and ten mins in the second half or manic chasing of the ball will mean we struggle to attack Wigan. I no they will stop us if they can till half time and then attack for the goal then shut the door we need to take our chances and play two strikers Ady and Defoe or we could end up another book makes shock result.

  2. avatar ruetheday says:

    Here’s one for your skulduggery, Davspurs:

    “There have been a lot of games at White Hart Lane where we’ve been better in the second half than in the first, so I think it’s important that we try and start well and get some goals.” Jermaine Defoe, today.

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