Disco Benny and Vertonghen Talk

Morning, campers. Before certain corners of the internet are caught in seismic blasts of despair/joy/uncertainty- and before our collective brains deep-fry themselves in the unending catalogue of complicated algorithms and permutations that could unfold this Sunday- I thought I’d look back on the week’s most eye-catching snippets of news and ask the simple question: wasitallabaat?

In plain-speak, then, I’m going to recycle some old quotes like the council recycles my cardboard and you’re going to sit there and bloody well like it.

Ahem.

First up, Disco Benny has pished on a few tabloid bonfires this week, after several of the redtops had picked up the on the remarkable story of him not rating the Europa League and, even more remarkably, not being clairvoyant enough to predict his own future. The dumbo. Here’s the afro’d avenger in his own words:

I am fully committed to Tottenham Hotspur and proud to represent the club in any match, whatever the competition.

 I am very much enjoying my time here. It is a wonderful club with great support and I am looking forward to recovering from my injury in time for next season.”

Now that’s obviously what he meant the first time around.

Meanwhile Jan Vertonghen looks to be awfully close to joining our illustrious ranks. According to Goal.com, the deal is as good as eggs. Having watched at least twenty minutes of the Belgian in action this season- thus qualifying me as ‘expert’-  and by proxy of Kompany and Vermaelen both being a bit tasty, I can safely say this is a fine idea. Around ten million Euros is the price being ballyhooed around. Here’s the man himself, brazenly whoring himself, like the salacious harlot he is:

Tottenham is a fantastic traditional club who play football in a way I like.

Ajax was the perfect club for me, but Spurs will be very close in nearing that already. They buy young, eager and offensive-minded players.

Pure filth.

Right that’s me out of steam. And much earlier than usual.

More later.

Here we are on Twitter.

 

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