I’ve Seen The Future… And It Doesn’t Look Too Swell
How could things get any worse, I hear you ask? Well I’ve dreamt of a bleak dystopian future whereby Spurs take fourth spot, only for Chelsea to win the Champions League and deliver us to another season of Euro-Conkers. John Terry is crowned unanswerable King of Football while Modric is sold for spare change in which to power the floodlights for aforementioned dismal nights of second-rate European football. Solomon Kalou is Spurs’ new number ‘9’ and Ashley Cole is dating your grandmother.
Yes, as bad as things feel right now, when Chelsea are involved, there’s always the likelihood of it getting a whole lot worse. A classic Blues versus Reds cup final on the horizon and I’m genuinely concerned for the prospects of the species. Suarez, Terry, Cole, Gerrard, Carroll, Adam, Drogba. You couldn’t cram that many nefarious characters onto an oblong of open space if you were a prison warden during recreation time. Never mind a tea-time kick-off, this is post-watershed.
If it’s good vibes you’re after then I apologise for being in short supply. Monday’s PFA nominations were interesting enough, I suppose. Modern-day hero Scott Parker made it onto the POTY sort-list while Kyle Walker and one Gareth Bale shimmied themselves into the Younglings category where the competition consist of Kun Aguero and an Arsenal winger who’s played 44 minutes in his last 10 games. Somebody check those facts, because I have absolutely no inclination to do so. Without my Hotspur hat on Vincent Kompany and Robin Van Handbags should be duelling it out for the main gong and, ooh I don’t know, Lee Sharpe should win the other one.
Harry Redknapp’s also on another short-list, that of Best Manager in Premier League History, as part of the twentieth anniversary celebrations of the birth of football. I’m a big fan of Harold, and all that he’s done for Spurs, but even I think that’s a barrel of premium-grade nonsense. As much as I deplore of Kenny Dalglish these days, he’s at least won a title and come close on another occasion. In the kindest possible way, Redknapp hasn’t.
Mr. Happy is in all week. Please tip your waitress. I’m also on Twitter.
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