Defoe to Liverpool, Ćorluka’s Off and Pav’s Probably Not Too Bothered Either Way

This could be an eventful day. And then again, no- as Elton John would say. I’m not sure what the implications will be of having a whole round of Premier League fixtures on the same evening as the transfer deadline, but to me it sounds like a mess. For managers looking to get shot of a bit of dead wood, I suppose, it’s probably ideal. In that they can give the unwanted space-wasters one last, thoroughly depressing waltz in the shop window in the hope that they can find a willing buyer. I can see it now. Arry patching Pavlychenko up with a bit of blusher and rouge before sending him on with ten minutes to go.

Go on, run around a bit and look lively. We’ve got Fulham watching.

There’s been plenty of frantic gossip so far- well, gossip at least- but it all smells a bit desperate. Nothing’s quite ringing true. It’s as if the ITK and tabloid rumour mills are just plucking names out of thin air and blurting them out with the kind of spazzy enthusiasm that, frankly, makes me rather nervous. And as we all know, that’s very much not their bag at all. Defoe to Liverpool is trending on Twitter, we hear. Pavlyuchenko is off to Russia with Hugo Rodney coming in from Wigan. Last minute bids for Loic Remy.

What’re the odds of us ending up with Emile ‘The Ram’ Heskey and Phil Neville?

In the ‘done deal’ section, one Vedran Ćorluka has jumped ship to Bayer Leverkusen for the remainder of the season. Fair thee well, sweet prince. We knew him well. Which, I guess, is part of the problem. My only concern is that we might be heaping an awful lot of pressure on young Kyle Walker’s shoulders. Don’t break and don’t be sh*t, ever. Please. Maybe there’s some cunning plan…

Anyway, feel free to chat amongst yourselves. Heck, we could even talk about the game of football we’re partaking in this evening. Or just follow me on Twitter and watch me have a breakdown in front of your eyes.

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