Prancing With Wolves

hellisSo what’s the good word, I hear you ask. No? You weren’t asking? Oh well. Let’s just pretend you were. With Spurs off-air since last Tuesday’s seaside catastrophe, all eyes were on the race to be crowned the world’s thickest footballer; with Wayne Rooney and Ashley Cole storming into an early lead. While the jacket potato-faced Scouser was busy introducing his elbow to the delicate regions of James McCarthy’s jaw on Saturday- with the elegance of a cement-mixer being dropped through a mine shaft- it was Cole giving the tabloids plenty to think about with his gun-totting antics in Cobham. The England defender seeing fit to exhaust the contents of his boomstick into some unsuspecting intern; in what may well be remembered as the most euphemistic headline of all time. Oo-er, Ashley.

The winner, though, by quite a distance, is this scandalous waste of carbon. In my eyes, a fitting punishment would be to have him sexually ravaged by Bill Oddie. But, you know, I don’t make the rules.

Talking of animal cruelty. It’s Wolves this Sunday afternoon and there’s a widespread rumour going round that one of our strikers is due a goal. It’s quite an idea. Jermain Defoe just needs one- so we’re told- and the dams of profligacy will burst open and flood the place in no time. Just one, and more will surely follow. We can only hope. And by hope, I of course mean: put all your savings on him to score the winner.

I’ll see you in St. Lucius on Monday morning, then?

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22 Responses to Prancing With Wolves

  1. avatar KayBee says:

    Apparently, Defoe’s been watching DVDs of Jimmy Greeves, and has come to the realisation that he doesn’t have to blast it each and every time.

    (I kid you not)

    PS – I really can’t believe that vid with the owl. Who would do such a thing (apart from that bloke)?

    Shocking.

  2. avatar SA says:

    I’m betting Mr Owl Kicker gets kidnapped by animal rights activists before JD scores a goal.

  3. avatar JimmyG2 says:

    Watch JimmyG1 and learn JD.

    But then I would say that wouldn’t I?

    Not surprised at the ‘owls’ of protest at that incident.
    What? You know you all wanted to give way to the temptation.

  4. avatar JamieSpurs says:

    OWCH!

    Defoe is a moron, he needs to start scoring goals or risk ending up at Sunderland in the summer window!

    We need to make sure we don’t get out-fought on Sunday, that’ll be the key. Match their fight and then let our superior ability do the talking.

  5. avatar seattlespursguy says:

    Added incentive to gain 2 points on the scum tomorrow.

  6. avatar AS says:

    I expect us to beat Milan and lose to wolves today.
    It is the tottenham way.
    If we win the CL at wembley then we qualify for it next season which is a lot easier than getting 4th place.

  7. avatar seattlespursguy says:

    Tottenham: Gomes; Hutton, Dawson, Gallas, Assou-Ekotto; Jenas, Sandro, Modric, Pienaar; Pavlyuchenko, Defoe.

    Subs: Bale, Lennon, Palacios, Crouch, Bassong, Kranjcar, Cudicini.

    We have some game changers on the bench if it comes to that.

    Is Harry putting Jenas on the right?

  8. avatar Aran says:

    Well that was a kick in the teeth.

    Shame to lose 2 points when we were so close but great to see so many top players back in the side. We’re closer to full strength than we’ve been for many a week.

    • avatar seattlespursguy says:

      Not what we wanted to see, but in the end we were lucky to get the point and finish with 11. Today just confirms what I’ve been thinking. If we are going to stay a top four side, we’ll need to take care of business against the Chavs and Shitty, It’d be nice if we could beat up the bottom teams and not have so many worries angainst our direct rivals, but that isn’t our way.

      • avatar KayBee says:

        There’s the easy way, the difficult way, and then there’s the Spurs way™.

        We’ve only got four away games left, in the Prem, you know.

        Sounds good doesn’t it, until you figure in the fact we’re the second best team away from home this season.

        We’re away to:

        Wigan (2nd April)
        Man City (17th April)
        Chelsea (30th April)
        and then Liverpool (15th May).

        Our remaining home games are:

        West ham (19th March)
        Stoke (9th April)
        Le Arse (20th April)
        West Brom (23rd April)
        Blackpool (7th May)
        and Birmingham (22nd May)

        We can do this.

        • avatar Aran says:

          Indeed we can. We’ve got almost a full squad again and it seems Defoe has remembered how to score. If we can get Corluka up and at it sooner than later and keep most of our key players fit we can do well in the remaining games.

  9. avatar Mark G says:

    I’d like to know when both strikers in our starting 11 actually scored in the same premiere league game.

    Anyone know ?

  10. avatar KayBee says:

    God, did anyone else get thoroughly choked up at the Dean Richards tribute? Beatifully done, I thought.

    When James Beattie started crying in the pre-match bit he set me off big time.

    Rest in peace, big guy x

  11. avatar AS says:

    Dear Defoe, if you can score goals like that wtf have you been doing for the last 18 months?

    Anyway I would still start Crouch and VDV up front on Wednesday. In European games they have been unstoppable for us. Probably Luka+1 in the middle and start both wingers too.

    Will be a tough game if Milan are up it but I fancy us to get through.

  12. avatar seattlespursguy says:

    I was jaw a-drop at Hutton’s performance yesterday. We all know he can be problematic defensively, but a horrible penalty and being roasted repeatedly by Matt Jarvis—Matt Jarvis!—left me glad we escaped with the point. If Harry didn’t have a pop after Fulham in the Cup, I wonder if he did yesterday. Simply not good enough, and piss on that goon who took Charlie out.

  13. avatar seattlespursguy says:

    I’ve read a lot of comments around the blog-o-verse taking pops at Harry again—tactically clueless, you know—but one thing I did find strange was not bringing in Crouch for Pav when we were a goal up and 10-15 minutes to go. Pete starting in the league is something I seldom want to see, especially if Rafa is out, but 15 minutes of playing sweeper and being an outlet if needed is something he is good at. Look at the cross for their equalizer; just a bit high for Daws, but maybe if Pete was in he gets a head on it.

    Pete is weird. When we attack, he seldom wins anything in the box, but defending, he wins everything. It seems a strange non-use of his talents. Maybe Harry wanted to save him for Meelan, but we’re talking 15 minutes after a long lay-off.

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